"It is what it is and that's all it is gonna be, it is life, what more can you do but take it one step at a time and see where it leads you"

Absolute closure are the words of this weekend.  We knew in our hearts that we would not be getting our baby girl, but we still needed to hear. I wish the "birth mama" could have called us herself to say that she had changed her mind, that she was going to raise her baby herself, but she didn't.  Instead we hear that they have dropped off the face of the earth, not even showing for pre-arranged appointments.  I know sometimes it is hard, but I say make a choice and own that choice.
It's so strange how life works, we thought we were completely done with babies and then the thought of this baby girl was put into our hearts, it opened a window that we thought was latched tightly closed.  Of course, Jamie is trying to slam his back closed, but mine still has a small breeze blowing through.  I'm not sure what this was supposed to teach us, or where we are supposed to go from here, I guess I'll just sit and listen to the breeze and see if it has any words to share with me.
We spent Friday with friends and some of their family brought their babies (one with twins -boy and girl, and the other a little girl).  We passed the babies around, all taking turns to give the Mamas a break.  Oh my goodness, we are out of practice.  I was constantly redirecting, holding, rocking, talking, cooing... it was a lot of work.  I forgot how busy babies get.  It was still a lot of fun; especially, when you know you are not going to be the one getting up with the babies in the middle of the night.  We have such great friends!  Thank you for a fun evening.

We had a great Easter.  I love visiting with family.  The boys had an Easter egg hung inside (Mason said that the Easter bunny needs to do a better job next year.  I guess the eggs were too easy to find.  Darn Easter bunny!), ate candy, visited with Nana, ate candy, got ready for the day, ate candy, watched the Chipmunks movie (while eating candy), used up an entire package of rub on tattoos, ate candy, and finally headed to Grandpa and Grandma's house.
They were kept busy at Grandma and Grandpa's.  Cynthia and Grandpa helped the boys color the eggs.  Then it was time for the Easter egg hunt that Grandpa and Grandma had set up for them, and of course eating the big dinner Grandma had prepared.  We had fun and now to clean up the mess that the darn Easter bunny left behind...

Cowboy Cornbread Skillet Casserole

Big name for a big, delicious casserole.  We have fallen in love with this casserole.  It is so easy, versatile, and quick to make (and cheap! and who can deny cheap?).  So here you have it, let me know what you think.

1 lb ground beef
1 chopped onion
1 chopped bell pepper
1 can beans (baked, black, chili, or pinto)
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can corn
2 tsp flour
1 1/4 tsp chili powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp beef bouillon or 1 bouillon cube
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp cayenne
1/4 tsp cumin

Brown ground beef and onion over medium high heat, until onion is translucent in a large oven proof skillet.
Add remaining ingredients and cook until heated through.
While this is cooking you can either mix up my cornbread recipe found below or prepare an 8.5 oz pkg cornbread mix according to directions with the addition of an egg and 1/3 C milk.
Spoon cornbread over meat mixture and spread evenly.
Place skillet in oven and bake at 350* for 25 minutes or until toothpick inserted in cornbread layer comes out clean.
*a few notes: I don't always have a bell pepper, so don't always use it.  The corn and tomatoes are optional.

Golden Sweet Cornbread
1 c flour
1 c yellow cornmeal
1 c milk
1/3 c sugar
1/3 c brown sugar
1 tsp salt
3 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 egg
1/3 c melter butter or oil

Allow cornmeal to soak in milk for 10 minutes.  Add additional ingredients and mix until well combined.
If you are going to cook this separately from your meal, you will want to cook this in a 400* oven for 20-25 min. or until toothpick inserted into middle comes out clean.

What a busy past week, but I really enjoyed it.  I can't believe how fast time is going by.  I like the fast paced, but sometimes feel that I am being left behind.  We had friends fly in this weekend; my beautiful goddaughter and her Mama.  We had truly missed them and it was great to catch up.  I'm so glad we had some spring weather to welcome them home to.  The kids sure took advantage of it.













Jamison's vampire sleepover birthday party.  What a success that was.  The boys were really good and only a little damage was made... let's hope Jamie doesn't realize what damage they did anytime soon!
I love Mason's face in this picture. 

The Vampire Blood Cake                                          













 Jamison received his Wolf Badge.  He was so excited  (Notice Mason and his bike helmet in the background.  It was new and he felt he should wear it everywhere.  Haha!)

Jamie had some community service to do for his hunting license this year and so he chose to do the fishing surveys.  He took Trae with him and threw him in the river to do some fishing.  Jamie said he just did an amazing job.  He had six "hook ups" in this hole.  He'll be teaching me soon.

My bathroom remodel

Finally!  Finally, I got the towel rack hung, the knobs on the cabinet doors, and the one decor item I have found on the wall.  I have one bit of tile to cut for under the vanity and blue paint tape to pull from the ceiling and my bathroom remodel will be done. 

This is the vanity I restained.  Needless to say, it was a
pain, but the result is pretty close to what I was looking for.













Haven't found a new shower curtain, rug, or towels yet,
but this one will do until I have.  You can see the new
light and a bit of my new tile.  It turned out better than I
could have imagined.

Happy Birthday to my Mom and my big 9 year-old-son, Jamison!!

Happy Birthday Jamison!  

He finally got to open the package that has been sitting on our counter for a week, sent by Brandon, Shannon, Cassidy, and Conner.  He was just a little excited when he saw the contents; two books from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series!  Grandma was a little befuddled by how excited he was over books.   

Happy Birthday Mom!  

Dad snuck out and got her the painting she wanted.  She was pretty impressed with him.

Trae and my baby brother, Brett.  Trae is getting so tall!

Brett, Cynthia, and the baby boy bump.

Conversation between Mason and I:
Mason "Mom, can I spray this?"
Me "It's not body spray.  DO NOT spray it."
I leave the room...  Spshhhhh.....
We are now looking at a sad boy because he didn't listen to his Mama.  So let me correct myself here, Mason is informing me that he did listen because he didn't spray it, he pushed in the bottom of the can. Yep...


















My new tile in my bathroom.  I'm so proud of us!
We'll not talk about what happened to the vanity... yet...

Another week, another dollar... or few... or hundred.  Yep, we fell off the budget bandwagon, but no worries, we'll just throw ourselves back up.  Not a big deal really because all the bills were paid and extra thrown to the money swallowing credit cards.
We found out Trae fell off the good grades wagon (also known as the VIP board) and I'm none too happy about it, but what can really be done if he doesn't remember to bring it home... I'm sure the little talk we had of starting him on his ADHD medication again will help "encourage" him to get his little fanny in gear and turn in that homework.  I feel bad even putting him back on the medication, but if he is failing out of school, and not putting forth the effort of fixing the bad grades, what choice will we have?  We'll wait it out a bit longer and see how things go.
Okay, enough of airing out my dirty laundry.... never mind don't even get me started on my dirty laundry pile, which happens to consist of clean clothes that my boys didn't "have the time" to put away, so instead just threw all the half folded clothes back into the laundry room.  I think I'll get even by making them be in charge of dog poop duty.  Watch out shoes because here they come...

Jamison pinning the Mama Bobcat pin on me












Giving Jamison his special round of applause for earning
his Bobcat.  Next month he's going for his Wolf.

Mason wanted friends to come play with him so badly 

the other day, but settled for the stuffed kind to play in 

one of the many blanket tents he makes.

February brought Trae's jr high registration.  I've been having a bit of denial that he'll be going to jr high next year.  I'm just not ready for him to grow old, but he continues to do it anyway.  He's so excited to have more choices in classes and meet new friends.  I'm just so nervous for him to fit in and do well in a new environment.  He's so ready for this and I'm so not!
Trae is also going to be trying out lacrosse.  Seems like a really fun sport.  We are really hoping he'll excell at it... especially after spending a small fortune on the equipment so he can play.  Ouch!

I think my feelings over him going to jr high are being amplified because my baby got his kindergarten registration in the mail in February as well.  Too much change for this poor mommy, who is not ready for her kids to grow older.  I was hoping for a new cuddly bundle, but with my infertility issues (and Jamie being in denial that he wants another baby) and the adoption rollercoaster coming to a complete stop (luckily with all arms and legs intact, hearts beginning the healing process) I'll just have to adjust to this new and strange time of my kids all preparing to go to school and not need me quite as much as they have in the past.

So, looks like I need to plan ahead... who's up to being my new lunch/ coffee break buddy??  Haha!

No-Bake Granola Bars

These bars are so versatile, easy-peasy, and so darn yummy!  We used cocoa crispies for the cereal (what I had on hand) and sunbutter in place of peanut butter (peanut allergy for us here).  You could replace some or all of the corn syrup with honey.  I've also thought you could add in/ replace some of the dry ingredients with flax seed, wheat germ, almonds, pecans, crushed corn flakes, craisins, coconut, sunflower seeds... the variations are endless, but they are amazing just as is.

2 1/2 C crispy rice cereal
2 C oats
1/2 C raisins
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 C corn syrup
1/2 C peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla

In large bowl, combine cereal, oats, raisins and set aside.
In small saucepan, combine brown sugar and corn syrup.  Bring to boil while stirring constantly.
Stir in peanut butter and vanilla.
Pour over cereal mixture and mix well.
Press into 13x9
Allow to cool and cut into bars.

Mason's version of licking the bowl












Mason trying on Trae's glasses... Trae claims he never sat on them and they are in perfect condition.  hmm...












Little Muscle Men












Not sure if this boy remembers how to smile.












I think Home Depot must be keeping tabs on us because we spent so much there last year and we have kept ourselves from going there for the last 2 months.  Our self imposed ban came to a quick end the other night when our garage door opener mysteriously crashed and burned.  Off to Home Depot we went and handed over our Vegas vacation money.  Dang that Home Depot store.

Valentine's Day Boxes

Trae's Valentine's Day Card Box
I recommend to never do this project unless you have a child
who is willing to sit and help you and not keep wandering away.
Eek!  It was a big time consumer.

















I bought Mason a little mailbox for his cards, but
he was feeling left out in the box making and so
made his own out of the empty kleenex box. 
Notice the catepillar at the bottom of the box.  He
is so into drawing bugs right now.  

















Daddy helped Jamison out on making his Valentine's box.
So glad he was here to help and he did a great job.

 

Mason decided to cut his own hair this week.  He
thought it was funny for a few moments until he
realized that now all of his hair was going to come
off.  I think he was a little traumitized.  Hopefully,
it was enough to encourage him to never do it again.

The newly shaved head...

Our goal for 2010 is to pay off our credit cards and start paying down our truck and trailer loans.  So far, so good.  It's amazing how far we can stretch a few dollars, when you know that's all that was budgeted out for you.  I got sucked into the show Til Debt Do Us Part and she gives you some really great manageable ways to budget.  She completely inspired us to get our behinds in gear and pay, pay, pay... in cash.  We set up jars with cash and that is our money for each of our expenses.  We have cut our grocery bill in half and we honestly are not lacking for anything.
Trae and Jamison had very successful parent teacher conferences this week.  We are so proud of their hard work.  Trae's teacher stated how proud she was of Trae and the effort he is putting into getting everything turned in.  His behavior is also on the very good side.  Jamison's teacher sang his praises.  They always do.  They get to see my sweet, quiet, funny Jamison at school... boy, do I miss that child at home.  I guess I should be proud that they know how to behave in public and save up all that attitude for when they get home.  They really do love me.  Haha!
I need to finish my laundry and exercise today because I slacked off yesterday, but it was a well deserved slack off.  Kara drove up, took me to coffee and scones, and painted my nails.  She said she is going to remind me to take girlsy time for myself, even if she gets me to do one item at a time.  Love that girl!